Today is my 39th birthday... almost 40 and it feels odd... The below comments are quick ramblings from an older man, not necessarily wiser, but more thoughtful and more tangible (whatever---)
Physically, I think I am in shape as compared to my peers, overall I think I am fit, healthy and have a few road scars and a few "twangs" that could go into the repair shop if I really wanted to get aggressive and wanted to turn back the odometer a few miles.
Emotionally I feel at about 90%... things are in a bit of turmoil but dealing with many things in life but things look good for a positive future. Doing what needs to be done, taking care of the challenges that present themselves and moving forward. Its awkward to deal with some things, its sobering to have to accept responsibilities, past - present - future - and check things off the "emotional to-do's".
The area of concern or questioning that has probably plagued man / woman / human kind for centuries is the "what if" questions. I wonder where I would be if I did this or did that and would life or my situation in life (not sure of the difference) be any better – and for that matter, how is this “better life” defined?
Some things are worse off, but worse off from what? From what I had before or what I had known before? And why are those things better? Perhaps now looking back and looking at what I have now, its not, maybe what I have now is best.
How do we measure better and how do we determine the better life. Most people do it by material goods, financial freedom or the ability to spend at will. But what about emotional freedom, the ability to spend that currency at will and feel great, the ability to share a life to make a life and a situation better – something that money cannot buy.
So, all in all, things are progressing, evolving, growing, getting more on track. Did life really go off track, or did the tracks go in a path / direction that was not on the map and so it was unexpected, a surprise. Is this bad? Maybe the end point of the path is not on the map, and that is a good thing. Maybe what we thoughts was to be, the end point on the map would be a misperception of happiness, a not-so-better-life in reality, just a magazine version of life for others to admire and want to emulate but not a true life or a truly better situation.
With all the trauma in life, the trauma (or lumps) that have occurred in my 39 years, things are not so bad. A lot of people have it worse and the best part of this life path is that I feel connected to others, feel there are a few people out there that add value and make life worth while and “better”.
On to 40 next year, ouch. :O