I watched an interesting movie the other day, I wasn’t too much into the movie staring at its’ box at Blockbuster, yet I love the actor and so we got it: About Schmidt an interesting movie to say the least. Its quirky sense of humor, irony and sadness touched me. Its soundtrack was perfect for the melancholy and satirical look at ones life.
I found myself understanding Warren as he struggles with his 65+ years of life and 42+ years of marriage and I am not near his age or his marital longevity, yet, he questions his life after it appears to fall apart, he questions his purpose and seeks out meaning and begins a journey of searching and understanding.
He lives a life of calm, organized solitude yet he is married and has friends. You don't see his life prior to his retirement, but I image his whole life was based on doing the right thing, keeping the peace and providing stability and security for his family. Yet, inside of his heart, you see his sadness and loss.
He is methodical and pragmatic. He appears unemotional and observant but self centered. He goes 62+ years living a routine doing what appears to be right and yet he never seams fulfilled with his life or with what he create, built or supported.
After a life changing event and a second one on the way, he begins a search for who HE is independent of his wife and daughter. While sitting in the dark, staring up to heaven in the middle of no where next to a stream, he asks of his wife ”What did you really think of me, what did you really think in your heart?” he wonders again ”Was I the person you were truly meant to be with”. He apologizes to his wife for his faults, his inabilities and insecurities and asks for HER forgiveness. He also realizes how much he misses his wife and how he took her for granted how lucky he was to have her – this is the thing in life that sucks. We seam to value the thing or the person or the event more after it is gone than while we are living in the moment. If there is a daily goal or way to live, it should be to give your all, especially in relationships, they are fragile, precious and can disappear.
It struck me as so sad and poignant where he didn’t really know what his wife thought of him and if they were meant to be together after 42+ years of marriage. Sad how people stick together and stay for reasons that escape even themselves and learn to live with it.
Warren did well to provide for his family, yet even his daughter has regret and distance for her father since they are not close and he cannot find a way to connect. She appears to be much more a product of her father than of the mother. Odd how it is easier to adopt the negative traits than the positive traits as we evolve as people.
Its not until the end of the movie and by pure happenstance that Warren finds something to hold on to, some hope, a reason for his 62+ years, a purpose to continue forward. It came at an opportunistic time. Things come to us at odd times and for odd reasons. He does something so strange and odd, that is therapeutic and almost counter intuitive of his personality, yet the fact that he is doing something almost without thinking about it, makes it genuine and real.
Its because of this that I believe it turns around and helps him find peace. We should be so lucky to have this happen in our lifetime, it took Warren 67 years, I hope I find it sooner than later.